Okay, so last time I wrote I was stuck in love with someone who I hadn't expected to walk back into my life again and I was all confused and shit
Um, so that's over now.
Since then I have been battling against problem after problem but I think I'm almost out of the hot water I landed myself into.
(Note to people out there; when you move away to University to study, actually do your studies. Its a pain in the ass when you have to resit stuff. Believe me)
So now I'm out the other side of all this stuff thats happened, I've decided I want to keep up this blog, but do it a bit more professionally, so that I have an excuse to be out and about doing stuff. I'm also considering doing vlogs, but my social anxiety is making me a bit iffy on this subject. I'm not good in front of cameras and it means I have to take a bit more care in my appearance in order to be able to sit/stand in front of a virtual audience
Because I'm starting to have big plans for my future, and yes, maybe even have my heart set on a Significant Other
But enough for now, its early and I need my morning cup of tea/cigarette (judge me)
C xo
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
Sunday, 25 May 2014
#2 Why Am I Still Stuck In Love?
I am stuck in Love
There is no other way to describe it. 4 years, 6 relationships and a broken engagement later and here I am, in one full circle.
It was a toxic relationship in the end, there's no denying it, but it was a damned good one while it lasted. We were so young, so ready to grow up that we forgot we were 15. That I was a screw up and he had no idea how to deal with me.
He loved me. He cant say he didn't. And he loved me when I wasn't lovable. He loved me at the worst time in my life, and I think that's why I'm so stuck. Why after all this time I end up falling back in love with him. Why the 6 relationships all ended, and why the engagement ended up broken.
It all boils down to him. And I don't think he even realises the half of it. Because I've always been so very good, and so very very bad, at telling him how I feel. And I don't think 'I Love You' can even cover it anymore. Because it was I love you when we were fifteen. It was even I love you forever (his words as well as mine). And I promised this, and I always keep my promises (okay, almost always). But I've run out of ways to tell him, run out of ways to chase him, so I'm not going to anymore.
I'm going to stay here - stuck- and hope he stays stuck with me.
Despite everything that happened between us, all the arguments, all the cheating, all the pain we ended up putting each other through, I couldn't not love him. I still cant not love him I guess.
Its why I end up listening to Taylor Swift most nights, and why it took me until I moved out of the house to let go of the red hoodie he gave me. Its why I've never been able to get him out of my head, ever.
Why am I still stuck in love with him? We haven't dated in forever, but somehow he worms his way back into my mind, over and over and over.
Its 6am and I've been writing all night, and I'm still stuck, so, over and out
C xo
There is no other way to describe it. 4 years, 6 relationships and a broken engagement later and here I am, in one full circle.
It was a toxic relationship in the end, there's no denying it, but it was a damned good one while it lasted. We were so young, so ready to grow up that we forgot we were 15. That I was a screw up and he had no idea how to deal with me.
He loved me. He cant say he didn't. And he loved me when I wasn't lovable. He loved me at the worst time in my life, and I think that's why I'm so stuck. Why after all this time I end up falling back in love with him. Why the 6 relationships all ended, and why the engagement ended up broken.
It all boils down to him. And I don't think he even realises the half of it. Because I've always been so very good, and so very very bad, at telling him how I feel. And I don't think 'I Love You' can even cover it anymore. Because it was I love you when we were fifteen. It was even I love you forever (his words as well as mine). And I promised this, and I always keep my promises (okay, almost always). But I've run out of ways to tell him, run out of ways to chase him, so I'm not going to anymore.
I'm going to stay here - stuck- and hope he stays stuck with me.
Despite everything that happened between us, all the arguments, all the cheating, all the pain we ended up putting each other through, I couldn't not love him. I still cant not love him I guess.
Its why I end up listening to Taylor Swift most nights, and why it took me until I moved out of the house to let go of the red hoodie he gave me. Its why I've never been able to get him out of my head, ever.
Why am I still stuck in love with him? We haven't dated in forever, but somehow he worms his way back into my mind, over and over and over.
Its 6am and I've been writing all night, and I'm still stuck, so, over and out
C xo
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
#1 Who Am I Really?
Hi, my name is Charlotte-Elizabeth Hussey, and this is my first attempt at a blog.
I am a Popular Music student at the University of Chester in England.
Music is my life. I live and breathe it, and am constantly moving to my own beat
I have been suffering from depression for 5 years, but am finally starting to get on top of it, and get on with my life
I am passionate about British Politics, World Music, Global Warming and issues concerning the youth of the world particularly.
I want you to find a voice to be heard in these posts, and I want you to hear these thoughts just circling around in my brain.
You know when you get 'word vomit'? Well, this will be my metaphorical bucket, where I will be telling you about everything I can. Hopefully you'll piece together a picture of my life from these little posts, and I'll feel like I'm not just screaming my thoughts at a brick wall anymore
If you want to get in touch with me about any of my future posts, please leave comments. Let me know how frustrated you feel too
Peace Out
C xo
I am a Popular Music student at the University of Chester in England.
Music is my life. I live and breathe it, and am constantly moving to my own beat
I have been suffering from depression for 5 years, but am finally starting to get on top of it, and get on with my life
I am passionate about British Politics, World Music, Global Warming and issues concerning the youth of the world particularly.
I want you to find a voice to be heard in these posts, and I want you to hear these thoughts just circling around in my brain.
You know when you get 'word vomit'? Well, this will be my metaphorical bucket, where I will be telling you about everything I can. Hopefully you'll piece together a picture of my life from these little posts, and I'll feel like I'm not just screaming my thoughts at a brick wall anymore
If you want to get in touch with me about any of my future posts, please leave comments. Let me know how frustrated you feel too
Peace Out
C xo
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